In Due Time
by ParadoxPoca
Summary: This is Kyle's clean, white house. This is where he waits. Always waiting and only for Kenny McCormick. (Contains loony Kyle) [PLEASE read AN. Summary was based off what I remember. ]


**AN: So, although I posted other stories, this is technically the very first SP fanfic I have ever written! Ever! Confetti, balloons, party poppers galore!**

**Yet, this also means pacing, emotion, all those other writing elements are not guaranteed to be the best. I didn't read it again, I wanted to post it raw. Yup.**

**Anyways, enjoy~**

* * *

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I watched as the clock's little hands moved. As it changed its position, showing everyone that time is passing. Here I sit, waiting for him.

I've been waiting for a long, long time.

I smile at the simple device. It comforts me. Reassures me that in due time, it'll happen.

He'll come back. He always does.

My grin widens. Just thinking of the things we'll do when he comes back made me excited. I stopped giggling in my seat, however, when I heard a knock. That's strange. I haven't gotten a visit in years. Or was it months? I would have to continually be watching a clock to tell time anymore.

"Kyle?"

I turned around in anxiety. I had almost forgotten this could've been him. Sadly, it was just a boy in a red poof-ball hat. How old is that hat?

Too old to be valuable.

"Hello." He stared at me for a while. I could see pity in his eyes. Sympathy. I hated those eyes. I hated pity. The boy didn't know. No one would know.

"Kyle, do you remember my name?"

I couldn't answer. If I said the wrong name, that would be worse than not answering. So I stared. He sighed.

"It's Stan. Look, I just wanted to check in on you to see if you were fine."

"And why wouldn't I be fine?" I snapped. There was something about Stan I disliked. Maybe I should kick him out. He didn't need to be in my house, anyways.

"Because you live in-" He stopped.

Was I forgetting something?

There was a voice inside me. It was trying to tell me something about now and the past. I would've gladly listened, I love anything about time and to pass the time. But it was silenced by everything else, so I would have to wait until everything calmed down. I was fine with that. I was used to that.

"What do you mean?" But sometimes everything won't calm down until that voice speaks.

"I-I didn't... Forget I said anything," Why was he so hesitant? Was 'Stan' an enemy? Was he trying to hide something from me?

My eyes widened. He was trying to protect me, wasn't he? No, too many people have tried. Too many people have hurt me more by 'protecting' me. I'm tired. But I can't sleep, I must wait.

Here I am, sitting on a chair in my home. Waiting.

"So, um, I can see that you're... fine." He was about to leave, yet I didn't want him too. How could I dislike him but want him to stay? I listened to that voice anyways, thinking up some way to talk. At least for a while longer.

"Why did you pause?" He blinked in surprise.

"I, well, just did." Stan's lying. I knew when he was lying. I knew this boy well enough to know exactly when he was lying.

So why didn't I know his name?

"Tell me."

"What?"

"Tell me what you're hiding. What everyone is hiding,"

"Kyle, no one is hiding anything."

"Tell me why you think being secretive will protect me? In what shape, way, or form is lying not going to harm me? If I'm going to suffer, I at least want to suffer knowing why. So, why?"

He blinked. Shock was etched into his features. I smiled softly. I know this has to do with him.

"I... Do you really want-"

"I wouldn't have had that whole speech if I didn't, Stanley."

I could see the surprise in his eyes, his whole face. I said his full first name.

"Don't you.. don't you ever think? Look around, and think about your situation? Do you know where you are, when you are, who you are?"

It was my turn to be shocked. Stan was right.

All this time, talking about how I know...

I didn't know anything.

"Kyle... Look around and think now, then. You are in a place. Do you know this place?"

"Of course. It's my house."

"No, Kyle. Think back. You know you're house looks different. This place is white and clean. Do you know any white and clean places?"

This was horrible. I was being treated like a two year old. How was this not my house?

"N-no..." An idiot. Maybe that one was right. The one with a blue hat. What was his name?

"Kyle, this is a mental hospital. A mental hospital houses... people with mental problems. So that they can help them." He readied himself for a retort, denial, a fit...

He didn't get any of those.

My emerald eyes looked back to the clock. I closed them, watching the memory of it fade away into darkness. I am fine. I am happy.

Suddenly I felt arms around me. Gentle words to comfort me were heard.

How long was I shaking? How long was I sobbing? How long was I waiting?

"K-Kyle, I need to tell you now. All of i-it." He sniffled. He didn't have a cause to cry. I felt the hatred for him grow, but I didn't have a good reason. He slowly sat on a chair opposite from me.

"You're here because... you think Kenny is coming back. You know who Kenny is, don't you?"

How dare he ask such a moronic question?

Yes, moronic indeed!

"I'm waiting."

"But that's why you're here, Ky. You'll be able to come back home when you realize-"

"This is my home. This is where I will wait for the phone call telling me the joyous news. You just have to be patient." I said in calm tone. It was serene, monotone. It was nothing like how I felt.

The silence was broken by words that filled me with all kinds of emotions.

"Do you remember how Kenny died?"

I couldn't respond. I couldn't do anything. To be able to tell you how I felt would be to make up new words. New definitions.

Most of these feelings were caused by the fact that I couldn't.

I never could.

Stan seemed to be able to read my face. He knew me well too, it seems. It feels like I just met a stranger who I've been best friends with for years.

"He died from a fatal stab wound. He was stabbed in self defense for attacking a citizen. The motive was jealousy and psychopathy. He was suffering from... a disease. In his head."

I was seething. He didn't understand, he couldn't understand. He was protecting me. What he did should've been classified as self defense from a murderer!

"Ky... his f-full motive was that he thought the victim-"

"Killer."

"Er, that he was going to have or had an affair with you..." Stan shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Which I would never have."

"Did anyone ever... tell you who the vic- um, 'killer' was?" I froze. How much could I have forgotten just by waiting? It couldn't have been that long...

"I... no. Well, maybe, but I can't seem to remember, just like with everything else in my goddamned life!" I was getting too frustrated. I needed to get back to watching the clock. To waiting for Kenny.

As I said, it comforts me. Knowing he'll be back.

Stan watched my blank stare as I thought. He looked like he was trembling, but I didn't know why. I never know why. His face paled as he finally opened his mouth.

"Kyle... please don't hate me," he began. I questioned him, but all he said was the same thing. 'Please don't hate me' 'Promise you'll still be my friend'. I don't understand. I wasn't his friend to begin with.

And why would I hate him more than I already do? Maybe the voice is finally talking...

It clicked.

No, no, no. This isn't happening.

I never know.

I screeched and cursed the world, the air, anything I could curse. I cried and hot tears streamed down my cheeks, my face flushed with anger and sadness and all things alike. I felt like I had no heart, I couldn't feel it. All I felt were pent up emotions after keeping them to myself and the walls of this room for so long. Too long.

"It was me, it was me." I could hear in the background of my breakdown. He was crying too. Earlier I would've scolded him, but now I just sobbed harder. I don't know where or when I breathed, sometimes I wish I hadn't.

Sometimes, I really did wish I hadn't.

Time is a damned thing. It can be wasted so easily. It can make your memories fade. It can lie to you and say things will be okay. Always in due time. Patience is a virtue, as they say.

Over time, you can keep in so many feelings. But they all have to come out some time.

In due time.

Have I spent my time wisely? Or am I just wasting years after years of loneliness waiting for someone who may never come back?

No, I can't lose everything. Not in one day.

Stan got up from his seat, wiping a few tears and whispering a good bye.

"Kyle... is he coming back?"

I lay on the floor, curled up in a ball and rocking back and forth. Was his visit supposed to help me?

He left without me answering. I proved that I was unsure. But... I thought I knew. I always knew. His question rang in my head, like the bells of a tower. It didn't matter, I had to wait. I was already too far in to back out. It didn't matter if I was right or wrong, I believed, I knew, that he was coming back. With my reestablished determination, I watched the clock.

This all happened a year ago. That's what the visit records say, anyways.

So, here I sit, waiting for him. The clock ticks, and instead of my usual smile, I find a frown growing on my lips. His question from years ago... Or maybe months, I can't tell time in the slightest, repeats in my head. I still have yet to answer him. Maybe today will be the day. But I'll wait for an answer, as I've always done.

I loathe time. You never know if you're wasting it. It's a sick liar and thinking about it makes me want to vomit.

I realize with horror one thing as I was reminiscing that visit. I never answered that other boy's question. I never said yes or no.

"You know who Kenny is, don't you?"

Do I really know him, do I still truly love him? I had to, or else I wouldn't...

It doesn't matter. I still wait for him to come back. He always does.

With that one reassuring thought in mind, the only form of hope and reason for life on this pitiful planet I have, I sit here and wait for Kenny McCormick.

In due time. In due time. In due time.


End file.
